Identity Crises

(Takeaways from my IG Live sharing with a secondary level Madrasah student on 27 June 2020)

1. Identity means 'a sense of self, who you are, what you are doing in your life, in relation to the commitments and roles you're making, such as identifying yourself with your role as a student, a son/daughter, sports enthusiast, hobbies etc.

2. It is a crisis when you can't find what situation you are in; could caused by stressors such as family conflict, divorce, influences and peer pressure that started to affect your daily functioning and thinking.

3. When crises happen, you cannot make proper judgement. Before it gets worst, be open to finding out what can help you go through this stage, such as learning about it more through reading about it, finding motivational quotes, get support from someone you trust especially adults and most importantly, go back to your main guidance in life which is the Quran and Sunnah.

4. Teenagers are bound to have crisis due to the developmental stages in life that involve hormonal and biological changes. Everyone handle changes differently due to the circumstances that we are living in (again, depending on how strong we are to cope and adapt).

5. Learning about our identity and self goes back to understanding how human being are described in the Quran and Sunnah. We are created by Allah with strengths and weaknesses. In Islam, self means 'nafs'. Our faith can have its highest and lowest point (I gave an example of in Ramadhan, we tend to be very conscious of our ibadah cause we know there is no syaitan to distract us, but when Ramadhan ends, we get distracted easily. But that doesn't mean we are blaming syaitan for our actions). We should strive to be consistent and istiqomah because life is challenging.

6. Psychologist named Erikson was the one who introduced this theory about identity. It is the 5th stage that teenagers (mainly 12-19 years old) will go through. Being able to go through this stage by resolving the conflicts and challenges you go through will make you move to the next stage of young adulthood. However if one didn't resolve the issues, it may affect the other spheres of that person's life (example; if someone had a bad childhood experience and didn't resolve it, it can caused other things).

Useful tips to get through this challenging phase:

1. Self-respect and embracing changes

2. Forgiving

3. Gratitude

4. Support through quality relationship