Uncovering the Truth: When to Seek Therapy?

Many of us have second thoughts about undergoing counseling or therapy when we are lost in our sea of problems. Perhaps we believe that we can manage it as God has promised before that He wont test us beyond what we can bear. While cost might be one of the reasons, we also feel that opening up to another party is a draining process and time consuming, with many variables intervening in our lives. Thus, we resorted to self-help approach by seeking advices from others, reading self-help books, or getting inspired by motivational quotes.

While both therapy and self-help methods involve introspection to one's own self, getting advices through words of others and getting professional help to uncover the layers of self is a different endeavor altogether.

While both have involvements of people or experts (in their own respective fields) to our current challenges, therapy involves getting another lens to look into ourselves in depth. It is very much customized to our own needs.

As much as we want to work out our own problems through self-help approach, we need to exercise caution and diligence to information we've got; either through online from notable people; advices from family or friends; or through books. The access to vast information and resources out there require us to be critical to what we select to read, follow or share. It is easy to quote what others said, but following them blindly without understanding the context, or do our own research of what others are sharing could cause damage to our own introspection. It may just be individuals' opinions or experiences on some matter, without proper clinical intervention to see its effectiveness. Even as we quote Quranic verses or hadith, there are various interpretations and significance to it which we should properly look into and contemplate with the help of the learned.

I agree self-help approach is useful and accessible but it is only applicable if we are able to self-regulate. After all, we are responsible for our own actions. I applaud the efforts to remediate oneself as it can be challenging and draining to cope alone. However, the presence of therapy becomes important to complex cases where each step of the way is supposed to be guided for its impact to the selves and people around them. If one is having multiple challenges and starting to become dysfunctional across respective roles that he is holding, he should get a proper support. Without a professional helping relationship that involve listening and understanding clients' lives, therapists' intervention is different from others who generally provide guidance and advices.

Based on my experience, a lot of times, Muslims are skeptical to undergo therapy because they believe that sharing about one's problems might open up their flaws ('aib) to a stranger (the therapist). Little did they know that having a discourse or discussion professionally about their struggles can actually help them understand their lives better and eventually leading a more spiritually healthy lifestyle. The increasing complexity of individuals' lives is parallel to the increasing need of Islamic counseling and therapy.

As a Muslim practitioner, I am saddened to experience that most of the time, individuals only sought counseling to address their problems per se, when the root of it could be linked to their understanding of faith. They hoped for a miracle to behavior change of themselves and others, especially referrers, while ignoring that changes take time and effort to work on in their course of life. Perhaps this misunderstanding could be the reason why individuals hardly invest their time and energy to open up in the first place. Dealing with one's spirituality can be confrontational to some as it is one's private affair with God, so being defensive is the best mechanism to guard one's self from the hurtful process of healing in overcoming their dissonances. Undeniably, therapy with spiritual element has been an effective method to overcoming many life issues.

So now, here I am, advocating my journey in helping profession to my self-growth as well. It is a rewarding insyaAllah to bring benefits to others, to enjoin good and forbid evils, but it is not my ultimate goal to please everyone by sharing what they want to hear only. Yes, therapy can be thought-provoking and rigorous, but is it meant to bring the best version of us in fulfilling our duties in this world for the hereafter. I hope that all of us can be genuine and sincere to improve our lives and others, regardless of our coping methods to the challenges that we face, for Almighty's sake. InsyaAllah. Wallahu a'lam.